Compare and contrast

I am totally stealing this from John Hayward’s Twitter feed.  Also, due to the way it comes up on said feed, I am also posting it in what I presume to be the reverse order of how the thread was originally done.  Since it doesn’t appear to affect the message in any way, I’m just going to leave it as is.

Conservative wave elections are takeovers fueled by anger.  Every one of them is portrayed as the last gasp of the dying white male.  Liberal wave elections are realignments driven by passion.  Every one of them is portrayed as the last gasp of the dying white male. 

Large groups of mainstream conservatives are non-stories.  Small groups of fringe extremists are major national news events.  Violent leftists are non-stories.  Extremists are the vanguard of important new movements.  Large rallies are the beginning of a revolution.

When the Right is in power, dissent is the essence of patriotism and resistance is healthy civic engagement.  When the Left is in power, dissent is hatred and resistance is treason. 

People on the Right get rich by stealing money from the poor.  People on the Left are rich because they are popular and virtuous.  Every dollar in their accounts is a fan letter someone wrote to them.  They give so much back to society that their financial status is irrelevant. 

Conservatives who change their positions are hypocrites and flip-floppers.  Liberals don’t change their positions.  Their old positions are erased from history.  The new position becomes the one they always held deep in their hearts. 

When conservative policies have unintended consequences, the ideas are flawed and politicians should be punished for implementing them.  When liberal policies fail, the people are flawed and should be punished for disappointing their brilliant central planners. 

If the conservative party has more money, there’s too much money in politics and election laws must be rewritten to weaken special interests at once.  If the liberals have more money, anyone who criticizes their fundraising obviously hates the people they claim to represent. 

When conservatives lose an election, it’s a clear sign their party is too conservative and must change to survive.  When liberals lose, it’s a clear sign the electorate is too conservative and must be changed, beginning with their children. 

When conservative politicians are accused of wrongdoing, they’re guilty until proven innocent, and only marginally less guilty if they CAN prove their innocence.  When liberals are accused, the accusers are guilty until proven innocent. 

When conservatives object to speech, they’re humorless, sexless Bible freaks who must be subjected to the speech they dislike until they loosen up.  When liberals do it, they’re sensitive social justice warriors working to create safe spaces for marginalized people.

When conservatives increase the deficit, they’re irresponsible spendthrifts looting the Treasury to give tax cuts to their rich friends.  When liberals do it, they’re compassionate saints making wise investments in the future by spending its money in advance. 

When conservatives stake out a bold position that currently lacks majority support, they’re out-of-touch or filled with hatred for those who disagree.  When liberals do it, they’re visionaries and the people are Neanderthals.  The people will be changed by force until they agree. 

Under the political rules of engagement in both US and UK, the fight is over when the Right loses a vote or court decision.  For the Left, that means the fight is just beginning, and the issue will be re-voted or re-litigated endlessly until they win.


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