La Resistance has been abuzz over the past few days about the supposed “expose” of the Trump administration, a book whose title I’m not going to post here but I’m sure you have heard about it. While the title doesn’t fit the line from Macbeth word for word, it is truly a tale told by an idiot. Apparently, according to the fly-by-night author who blubbered his way through fawning interviews and stumbled into an admission that maaaaaaaaybe not everything he wrote was true, the consensus in President Trump’s administration is that the president is an illiterate moron. And by “consensus” he means “literally 100% of everyone working there thinks so.”
We’re back to “President Reagan naps through meetings and is senile.” Didn’t even take us a whole year to get there either.
We’ll put aside the deliciously stupid quotes from colossal disappointment and apparent opportunistic muckraker Steve Bannon for the moment. Let’s follow this idiot’s deranged assertions to their logical conclusions. Because you see, the life of President Donald Trump can be summed up one of two ways: he built a massive multibillion dollar worldwide empire, employed countless people, made innumerable charitable contributions to both causes and individuals, married multiple supermodels (and divorced a couple of ’em without losing everything), raised terrifically successful children, and capped off a lifetime of staggering accomplishment by successfully running for President of the United States. Or, he cheated and conned his way into a multibillion dollar empire, exploited countless people, bought off dozens of government officials, harassed numerous women (while married to models? Um…), raised children who are as diabolical as he is, and for the finishing touch on a life of borderline criminal acts he colluded with Vladimir Putin to steal the Presidency and with it the country from Her Inevitable Majesty Dr. Pantsuit (peace be upon her). There’s not a lot of crossover for those two scenarios–either he’s a wildly successful businessman or a wildly successful con man.
Notice something about both of those? You don’t get to be either one if you’re stupid. Seriously, this notion that President Trump is some kind of moron is as laughable as it is tiresome. But you know, if this idiot author and the people swooning all over this alleged tell-all fairy tale want to think the President is a blithering buffoon, I’m actually kind of okay with that. It just means that they’re admitting that a blithering buffoon was able to bring the entire Washington establishment to its knees and practically single-handedly destroy both the inevitable Dr. Pantsuit and the fake news. I am reminded of the citizens of the future in the movie Idiocracy, who reacted with contempt and ridicule when someone suggested that plants ought to be watered with, you know, water, instead of Gatorade. So go ahead, La Resistance, embrace your newfound favorite person Steve Bannon and keep snickering to yourself about how stupid President Trump is while you tweet insipid hashtags you can’t even spell. The smart people will be over here making America great again and laughing at your hysterics.