It’s a red-letter day in the brief and sordid history of the much-vaunted “resistance” to President God-King Donald Trump. Much like last month, there was a day where immigrants were going to show all us privileged folks just how essential they were and not show up to work, which resulted in a whole bunch of them getting fired and the rest of pretty much everyone not noticing, this month we have the long-awaited “Day Without a Woman,” in which women are encouraged to do similar nonsensical things and get fired for it.
I honestly cannot tell you how excited I am about this concept. I’d love to see a whole week without women–maybe even a month. Republican women of course would not participate in such malarkey, not only are they far more intelligent than their enlightened Democratic sisters but they tend to be a lot more fun to look at too. But so far, all this grandiose mass strike has done is shown that female teachers care more about silly pink hats than they do about educating girls, that women who run progressive-themed Twitter accounts can be replaced by automated bots without a moment’s interruption of service, and that’s pretty much it. Expect some delightful wailing tomorrow when the pink hats start getting pink slips for cutting work today, and just imagine, if they’d stay gone for a week, or longer, how irrelevant we’d learn they really are. Subway restaurant stock would skyrocket. For the rest of the day, try to enjoy the pervasive atmosphere of logic and reason and the fact that your living room furniture will finish the day in exactly the same place it was when you got up this morning.
In other words, it’s a day without a woman, and nobody cares. And it’s beautiful.
Now what I would really like to see, and would even try to participate in given the chance, would be a counterprotest “Day Without White Christian Men.” Of course this will never happen, the name ought to be enough to tell you that, but it’s fun just to imagine. Because society would literally grind to a halt. You’d quickly see just how bad things can get in the space of 24 hours. The biggest reason white Christian men would never do such a thing is the biggest reason why it would be such a tremendous illustration of how the world works. But then we’d have to spend years fixing the damage done over the course of one day, and really, it’s just not worth it to try to get through to people who are immune to facts and logic anyway.
So we’ll just have to settle for the occasional “Day Without a Woman” or other grievance group, and enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts.